On London

There have been some odd goings on in the garage recently. Things have been tampered with, tipped over or moved.

The door from the garden doesn’t click shut – we just push it to and it usually stays there. But the recent warm weather has warped it and now doesn’t stay shut so well. Several times I’ve discovered it wide open.

On Friday I found Lily’s scooter had fallen off its hook narrowly missing the car.

On Saturday I found a piece of lumber and two 5 litre containers of paraffin had fallen from a high shelf.

Yesterday we discovered the cause: a raccoon has been living in there! I’ve no idea for how long… Caroline saw it first and I confronted it with a broom.

It seemed very frightened but determined not to leave. I tried to reason with it but it just stared at me blankly and shuddered.

Once I was sure it wasn’t about to pounce (I don’t know if sprightly raccoons exist. This one however was sluggish) I let the kids come and have a look – they thought it was cute but it was actually pretty mangey looking. I sent them away so that the raccoon and I could continue our negotiations.

It squeezed itself behind a wall of the boxes against the back wall, so I moved them away until its hiding spot was dismantled.

It tried to climb back up into the rafters but I blocked its way with the broom and compelled it to reluctantly descend.

Then it wedged itself in the corner and clung to the wall. I tried to prise it loose with the broom but the timbers of the garage wall provided perfect purchase for its long claws. It snarled and nipped at the broom but was otherwise quite docile.

I tried another approach: Lily had been to a birthday party, so I left a tempting morsel of birthday cake near the open doors. It didn’t apparently like birthday cake, or at least not enough to leave its cosy spot.

I tried a sonic assault, banging a metal baking tray with a wooden spoon, but it just gazed wide-eyed and cowered.

I brought out the hose and sprayed water at it. The raccoon held its ground, got wet, and then eagerly lapped water from the floor around it. It seemed grateful for the drink and ventured from its corner towards another pool.

That was enough for me to get the broom behind it and start shoving!

In the end a combination of broom shoving and more baking tray clanging drove it out into the lane. I shut the doors triumphantly and drank some beer to celebrate.

This morning the door from the garden was wide open again…